God Speaks To Me
"What I know for sure Is... If God had a favorite, It would be the heart of a woman" D .
God Speaks to me. I'm sure of it. I've just never actually heard his voice. I don't know if its deep, soft, stern, mellow tempered.
Still though, He speaks to me.
In moments of affirmations. Answered questions, unanswered requests, unexpected blessings. Those times when things just sort of worked their way out. It wasn't a coincidence or fate...... It was him; speaking, shifting the universe in my favor, making his presence known. My prayer for nearly a year now has been clarity. Help me to see this Lord. Help me to understand this. Help me to make that decision. And then there I found myself one night at work; receiving my answer. There was no grand gesture, I wasn't called to the alter, and the spirit didn't move the church. Instead it was my spirit....settled in peace and aware of him.
I'm reminded of the saying, be careful what you ask for, you just might get an answer. Careful Beautiful, because God is always speaking. We just aren't always ready to receive what he has to say. So many times I've asked God to help me with a problem, but then decided I didn't like the answer he'd given. So I waited for the next one. Clearly that couldn't be it. Are you sure that's what you meant God? I don't think it's suppose to work out this way.... Let's try again. Oh and don't worry, I'll help change your mind Father. I'll just do the same shit I've always done, but this time with more force at double the speed. That'll show you how much it's really meant for me, right?
Then came the Clarity I have been praying for.
The moment he answered me I had a choice to ignore it, get upset, cry, rationalize why. This is the first time I have just sat with gratitude, smiled and said Thank you. Thank you, for reaffirming what my heart already knew.
What I know for sure is, If God had a favorite it would be the heart of a woman. Emotional, Tough and Endured, we're born equipped with everything we need. What other being could not only nurture life but bring it into this world. And not just in birth, but in the way we love and sacrifice. Why would God not want us to experience all life has to offer when we innately give so much to it.
As I sit in my answer and say Thank you I realize how selfish I've been. Asking God to bless so much but in return only giving to him in the confinements of my comfort-ability. I NEED ALLLLLL THIS LORD, and in return let me think about what I can give you. Bless me at work....and then with a new job. Bless my family...... who I'll see when I get time. Bless my travels, even though I don't take the time to know what's going on in the world. Bless my relationships, even though celibacy scares me and habits if they ever die, are slow and painful to break.
The voice we're so use to hearing ....the one that keeps us going.. giving us that little insight when It "doesn't feel right". It's not just intuition, that's too easy. It's him... our father, hanging out.... reminding us. The voice I've never heard speaks to me everyday... and it is a powerful feeling to have a conversation without ever using words.
Yes to hearing silent Tunes.