Conversations with Ashley Cole
What if we uplifted and cheered for our friends the same way we celebrate celebrities and girls on social media we don't even know ...
In the period of my excess, I was overflowing with content and potential topics. I'd interview my Financial Advisor (coming soon), Maybe a Doctor or Two (Yes to Networking) .... another Writer, established business owner.
Then.. the Vision
The goal for my work is to root in the stands for women who are overlooked, pushed to the side as the shadow, second or third lead to women we feel more comfortable to hold the title of "womanhood" .
I've been over the top excited for all things related to dTinsleys'. So when I approached Ashley with another "O my God I have an Idea" ... she was ready to get cozy in her chair of supportive friend. Originally I'd thought her feature on the blog would be a surprise, but you know when I get excited I need to share... NOW!! I threw the news at her....... detailing how when I was able to invest in a professional camera, she'd be featured in my first photo shoot - celebrating all things Ashley Cole! Her response: "But I don't have anything to celebrate". That was it. This had to happen.
If you could describe yourself using 3 words what would they be?
Ashley: Magic - I can make anything happen even when things aren't happening. Passionate - I really really love It or I really hate it. There's no gray with me. I feel you or I don't. Camillion ....
Donnie: I would have to google, elaborate ...
Ashley: You just never know. I'm whatever I need to be in that moment
Being a mother is never easy, and I can only imagine. Can you think of your biggest challenge thus far being a mom?
Ashley: Doing what you think is best for your children, vs doing what others think is best. I wish women would stop volunteering their mothering experience, I will tell you if you ask me. You have no idea why I work a shift you would never work.. or why my kids go to a daycare where I can pick them up at 9 pm. Whats best for yours is not whats best for mine. Keep your mommy advice for when I ask for it
What has been your favorite memory with your kids?
Ashley: Delivering August. I've never felt more whole. Having her, with her father there. There were no longer just disposable people in my life
All of your friends, myself included have this admiration for your mother. What is one thing the Infamous Andrea Robbins passed down to you that you'd hope to gift to your children?
Ashley: Hustle. Persistence. Independence. Genuineness. It is what it is with Andrea. My mother don't take no shit
Donnie: Really? Ok, she doesn't seem like"that type"
Ashley: She is strong but Lite. Commands attention before ever opening her mouth. If I could be anyone I'd be my mama. She's the original boujee
You recently launched Ash Tags, What was the motivation behind starting your own... Wow, Business?
Ashley: I'm not suppose to be exhausted for anyone else. Oh yea that right there is mine, my name is on it. And I don't have to wait for it to be acknowledged to keep me, motivate me. I'm going to keep myself. I approached Ash Tags with... what is for me? I am a server. It's what I'm good at, what I know how to do. So lets do it
Finish my sentence
Donnie: In the future Ash Tags will be ...
Ashley: Its always going to be an online thing. An investment in myself. I don't know what else beyond the resume, but it will be what people need. In a dream world I'll have an office in my house. I would love for people to come to me and tell me this is what I'm looking for...career guidance. I want them to feel like they can come to me and move towards better
Many people may be at a place where they never think about how they're perceived by others.... Lucky them right. Goals. Do you think people have any misconceptions about you?
Ashley: One of the biggest misconceptions is that I have it easy. "She's spoiled"... Just because I don't put everything out there doesn't mean it's not happening or that I'm being fake. I can be open and still be private.
I want to be transparent - Honest. I always worry about what people think about me, wondering if people are thinking; "How is Ashley Cole qualified to help me". Listen. I have never not received at least a call back for a job that I applied for.
Finish My Sentence ...
Donnie: I love hardest when ....
Ashley: When I'm responsible for someone else being happy. I like taking care of people. That's how my mother is. Everything she does is for someone else.
The innateness to care for people. Do you credit that to being a Black woman... or just a woman?
Ashley: To being a mother. It consumes me... that feeling, now I'm responsible for all of this and its my jot to do it right.
You first moved to Houston in 2013. Left for a short period and went back home to Kansas City, then returned in 2016. You were a new mom of two babies. What inside you knew that was the right choice?
Ashley: My family. My children needed to be near their father.
Finish My Sentence ...
Donnie: I am most looking forward to ...
What would you say to inspire other women? Who don't see themselves when they get on social media. Who are scared to start.
Ashley: Don't even wait for you to do what you want to do, and Fuck what people think. My mama didn't even want me to leave again. People should just.... if that's what you want to do...go do it. No one else has to live with your thoughts. Sit with you when your scrolling. Live your own life, and love it.