Don't Be a Wife to a Boyfriend - By Shonda Brown White
Back in March I stumbled across this Gem and posted it on Facebook. The title speaks for itself, and a lot of my Sista - Facebook Friends were very interested, and asked me for a review. Fast Forward and Unplanned Here ya go!
This topic. Ladies. WHERE DO WE START! I don't know if its the woman in me, the millennial in me. Shit Let me not find a scape goat, its probably just plain ole me. But with time comes experience and with experience hopefully comes learned lessons, and this book is a reminder of the end goal. At 18 I had the you couldn't tell me we weren't going to be together first Love. Like you Boo, I had the plan already mapped out. (Inserts Praise Break) Because now at 26, I'm checking lists and making no excuses.
It's been a journey, one that I'm still on. Intertwined with a lot of confusion, disappointment and heartbreak. This book is a reminder of our checklist. You know, the shit we vowed to never put up with again. Rather it be from an old love or the new one.
- I'll never again accept being called out my name.
- I'll never again be tricked into believing that NUMBER ONE is better than NUMBER ONLY (Sorry, SZA's this post is not for "Weekenders")
- I'll never again put aside my dreams to protect your ego
- I'll never again Lead, without first allowing you the opportunity to lead me
- Fear and Love cannot Coexist
BE WHOLE FIRST!!!............. Easier said than done, we like to be held and stuufff and being whole while holding yourself ain't all that fun. Mrs. Brown White (catch that Mrs.) Recalls her own struggle with insecurity and relationship strain that began with her father, and how first changing her mindset led to lifestyle changes that would make room for God to pave the way to her Husband. The fourth chapter of Don't Be a Wife to To a Boyfriend, conflicted me, had me all twisted up just by the title ... Don't Expect different results using the same habits. This is a question I've been asking myself for over a year now. I Know I've made progress, gotten through some difficult decisions. But I'm still in the realm of doing what is comfortable.
Celibacy has been on my heart. Asking myself, how much longer will I keep giving God half and expecting the whole shebang in return. Just as a write this so many reasons of why I have been unable to make that commitment reveals itself. I don't know how it will be accepted by the person that says he loves me. I don't know If I'm strong enough to have that amount of control over my body. I don't want to attempt, fail, and then not be taken seriously. Wow. Therapy, Sis.
I started the draft for this post back in March, then I didn't know I would later post it on a website that I'd own. Sometimes we're moving in purpose before the actualization has occurred. (Finding Wholeness) . I've never been the type to reread books but to bring back the feelings of what the book gave me I am in fact rereading Don't Be A Wife To a Boyfriend. I'm thankful to the author for keeping her message simple. Sometimes we over sell things thinking it needs to be gawgeaous and extravagant for people to care. But what I've come to realize is, the bigger the message the simpler the packaging.
Below I've listed some of my favorite quotes from the book. And I end this post with a quote my best friend blessed me with when I was going through a time of complete confusion. I remember feeling like my head was spinning with decisions that needed to be made and questions I had no answer to. It's a blessing when you don't have to look far, for piece of mind.
Do me a favor, Leave a quote from a woman you admire. Best friend, Mom, Celebrity, whoever. Lets drop some diamonds for every woman who reads this post.
Don't Be a wife to a Boyfriend Fav Quotes
Comfort and Convenience aren't substitutes for Love.
You have to meet people where they are, and sometimes leave them there.
Sometimes you have to sacrifice your own temporary desires for the permanent reward
I figured the longer we stayed together, the better chance I had of being his future wife"
Its wonderful to know that one day I was able to look back on everything and declare, "I'm good", well before my husband came along.
"Mayaa Angelou once said, One thing Love is not. Is unsure".
There is answer in the hesitation - Spechelle Day